Hooray to ”Make Love Not Porn” By Cind

Neighbor

2013-03-24Cindy Gallop gave an awesome presentation on the subject of “Make Love Not Porn” on TEDTalk. She began by stating she was an intelligent, mature and confident woman who dated men in their twenties and has sex with men in their twenties. She began to realize this and future generations are being influenced and shaped by their easy accessibility to online porn. She intelligently, articulated the very thoughts I have had for a good while.Her presentation reminded me of a young man I met some time ago who was in his mid-twenties. We decided to try a sexual relationship which immediately proved beyond frustrating to me. It was quite apparent he was a mid-twenties virgin whose sexuality was shaped by years of porn watching. His idea of sex was to go full speed ahead running without even first learning how to crawl. Let me tell you, it had been decades since I had the “that’s not it” speech. So I had to stop him and began the re-education and retraining of sexuality and relationship.The very first thing I had to do was explain the difference between online entertainment and interacting with someone in real life. Cindy’s hardcore example was dead on. She said, “porn presents the idea that every man loves to come on a woman’s face and every woman loves it!” Reality? No. Actually not every man enjoys doing it and most certainly not every woman likes it. However many women might allow it because porn states it is a natural sexual interaction. So the very first lesson to him was to learn how to allow sexual introduction and exploration to happen after a normal introduction to a new person. Partners need to learn where their sexual compatibility lies and what boundaries should not be crossed.The second lesson, do not give a woman trashy underwear on the first encounter. Yes he proudly purchased and gifted to me a Christmas bowtie thong and worst attempted to coerce me into wearing it. The lesson was designed to teach him the first encounter is vulnerable. Two people are just getting acquainted on a very naked and vulnerable level. You do not need to add trashy underwear to this important introduction.The third lesson, learn to use your dick before jumping into the kinky stuff. This guy wanted to role play the dominatrix game and use strap-ons but couldn’t find the pussy. Role playing and kinky games come after you learn how to have sex with someone and how to use your own body. Naturally being a virgin, how could he know this!? I remembered he tried to be a little gruff (because many porn guys are) and push me against the wall so he could penetrate me. That resulted in a hard slap and some damaging words to his sexual ego. The reality was he was plump, I am plump and he had a little dick. You do the math!?The goal of the lesson was to teach him to separate his life within a video screen and real life. The sex in porn is for entertainment purposes only. Can people elect to try things and explore!? Of course! Exploration shapes our experiences and enrich our lives.We all must remember something very basic. Many of us enjoy watching porn online and meeting people and through the anonymity of our user name, cyber-explore our sexuality. However, we should never forget, we are human and we should take a moment to have that proper introduction and find the mutual compatibility that makes the exploration more enjoyable. If compatibility does not exist, respectfully move on to someone who is more compatible!

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